Everything was one sided. I had feelings for guys and all of them have been one sided. One particular person have had me liking him for about 5 years but that too ended up being a one sided thing. Well, after analysing my so called love life towards that guy, I have finally conclude that I was 'obsessed' with that feeling. The me back then, why were you so.... never mind. I have learned my mistake and I shall not make the same mistake again . ^^
I have come across many guys in my life; a few of them caught my attention but like always, nothing happened. Sigh~ So I just keep on waiting and hoping that one day that maybe I will find that one guy that will bring happiness to my life-- if God is willing. :)
When I was eighteen, I told myself that I will be single until I reach twenty. And my status had been like that until I reached twenty. And now that I am twenty, I told myself that I will be single until about twenty-two which in a way is not going to happen. ^^
Being in a new surrounding; its like a new beginning, a start of a new chapter in a new book, a new journey in a new box. Haha! I hoped for a new adventure, more surprises and probably a person to share my happiness with and with that, I found that person here in my new journey. :)
When I first saw him, it was during drawing class. There he was, standing with his arms crossed looking at the lecturer. He had shoulder-length hair and of course, that drowsy look on his face like he did get enough sleep the night before. He then introduced himself. He goes by the name of Iwan and he is from the same town as me. *evilgrin*
Honestly, I did not really pay attention to him then but being the curious person that I am, I kind of 'checked him out' from afar; head to toe, and then I noticed those chains dangling out of his jeans pocket.... Looked like anime figurines. O___O!! Holy shiz~ someone with the same interest... besides my roommate. Lol. But we didn't talk that day. I kind of pretty much checked him out through out the whole week I think.
Uhh... ok, I'm not sure what happened for the rest of the week... I think on that week's Friday, we kind of had a conversation but it was about a class group project. He asked me whether he can join my group but my group was already full so I had to put him down. So he got up and looked for other groups to join. I now regretted my actions because, after he left to look for other groups, my 2 of my original group members decided to form their own group and left me with 5 members. I literally panicked. 5 people per group is the minimum number of people we should have in our group and 7 is the maximum. I started to look around for someone familiar to drag into my group and the first person that comes to mind was Iwan. I looked for him and saw him standing at the far back of the room. I approached him with a hope that he still wants to join my group but luck was not on my side as he had joined the group that abandoned me the same day. Damn, what luck~ x'D So for that class, I only worked with 4 members in total but one decided to put up a disappearing act and never come to class until the semester ended. =/ Oh well, the 4 of us managed to do our work without the other member anyway. Lol~
Ok back to Iwan. ^^
The following week during drawing class, my classmate-slash-roommate saw that he was wearing a Death Note t-shirt. After the class, I simply asked about his shirt(?) or something like that and he was trying to deny it. So cute! But then I told him that we; my roommate and I, don't mind it at all and so he said shyly said that it is death note. ^^
Everything else falls into place after that day. I asked for his facebook account and later his phone number; given a reason that we're classmates and we should at least know each other. But I had other motives. I really want to get to know him. Lol~ But it's true. It's because we're classmates that we need to get to know each other. ^^
We talk about a lot of things; from anime to food to even the sensitive issues like... what kind of person do you like and how is your love life going. We talk about our likes and dislikes, friends and a bunch of other stuff. With all the talking and chatting on facebook, we got really close to that one point I don't mind hanging out with him, just the 2of us. ^^
That one particular night, we planned to take pictures of people playing sports and it turns out that there was a basketball tournament going on at the sports hall. So it was just me and my 2 other guy friends and him. We stayed at the hall for about half an hour or so and then we left-- actually,we planned to go and watch people dancing but then the 2 other boys left, leaving me alone with him. O.O||
Doki doki~~
Nothing happened. It was just the both of us, walking and talking about a lot of random stuff. But the main topic of the night was about the previous rejections that we had. Honestly, I can say that, even though I am still wounded from the treatment I received back in secondary school, I feel that Iwan suffered the worst as he was rejected more that he can handle. He was really hurt to the point that he's giving up on love entirely and will not look for anyone any more. It was sad to hear all of these things coming out of his mouth. ;___; But he brushed it off and we just talk about other things and I swear he was giving out some hints!! Lol~
But that night, even thought we only know each other for about 2 months, I felt that we've known each other for so long. ^////^
The feelings I have for him grew every day until today and it is still growing. As much as I wanted to wait for at least a year as my mum told me to wait; so that I can broaden my scope and hopefully there will be someone else that I will get interested in, but at that point of time, my mind was set that if I like someone, grab that person before we regret for waiting too long. So I took a dive and and asked him the hopeful yet fragile question; "What if I tell you right now that I like you? What will you do?"
Will be continuing in the next post. ^^
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